Changing a Tire (in 26 easy steps)

Follow these steps to change a sisters tire in the freezing cold:

1. Report to flat tire site
2. Remove spare tire and tools from trunk, under garbage
3. Tell sister to turn off your car alarm by placing key in ignition and turning
4. Tell sister to turn the car off
   
5. Wonder why hubcap won't pop off in the freezing cold
6. Eventually pop off hubcap
7. Tell sister to turn off your car alarm again, this time turning key one notch
   
8. Get down on floor and look under car for solid spot to place jack
9. Play with jack and wonder what separate gold ring is for
10. Tell sister to turn off your car alarm
    
11. Jack up the car, turning the misfit lever in all directions while bashing hand on freezing concrete
12. Clean off blood
13. Insert wrench onto wheel's lug nuts and unsuccessfully try to loosen them from the frost
14. Tell sister to turn off your car alarm
15. Put all strength into loosening lug nuts, inevitably realizing its impossibility
16. Receive a shovel with a metal pole, which has an end cut off to slide onto wrench, from friendly onlooker
    
17. Insert shovel and smash lug nuts loose while enjoying the bone-cracking sound
18. Remove loose nuts with wrench
19. Tell sister to turn off your car alarm
20. Place spare tire on car and tighten
21. Lower car
22. Tell sister to turn off your car alarm
23. Get frustrated that garbage wont allow flattened tire to be stored in trunk
24. Wash blood and oil off hands in local mart
25. Decide to put flattened tire in own trunk
26. Report back to work